so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
