My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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