we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
