So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize