We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Terrible idea I love it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
