and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize