It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize