i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
