Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
