Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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