Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
