The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
