Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
