they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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