I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
