Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
