I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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