Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
