She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize