I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
