I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
