Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
