I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
