If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
