the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
