i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
