it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
