six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
