I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize