My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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