3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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