so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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