white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
