do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
