i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
