She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You can't just leave with hair like that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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