Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
