NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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