its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
