How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
