..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
