I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
