Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
