I'm going to jail i love you
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
