tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
