I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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