If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
