her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
