Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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