i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
