Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
