just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
