: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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