STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
