i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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