Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
