your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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