You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
