You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
