OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
