the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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