Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
