her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
