I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
