you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
