and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Everything about him screamed your future.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
