Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
